I am a terrible housewife, I eat far too much chocolate, I love playing music too loudly and I am ‘terminal’.

Actually this is the third time in 13 years that the Docs have shaken their heads sombrely and indicated that I might like to choose a coffin now rather than later. The first time I had just had a baby, was in the middle of a major career change and I really did not have time for this Cancer business. My secondaries appeared 8 years later, 7 months after we moved to Spain. Looking forward to a new life in the sun there was no way a few misbehaving cells in my body were going to stop me living the good life. The thirdies (not a medical term but how I see them) arrived centre stage 2 years ago and I was given 12 months. What do you know I am still here?

I have had so much radiotherapy Iberdrola are thinking of using me as an alternative energy source, forget all this solar power nonsense, just have a few courses of Radiotherapy at your local hospital and wire yourself up to the mains. As for the dreaded Chemo, I have kept the drug companies in business over the last 13 years and many surgeons are now driving around in Mercedes because of the amount of surgery I have had.

Have all these treatments and doctors done me any good? Without a doubt. However, I firmly believe that what YOU believe is just as important.

When I was first diagnosed and told it was a very rare form of Cancer, my first words were ‘I am available for lecture tours’ (honest truth). My consultant felt I was in denial and sent me to a counsellor who spent our one and only session telling me HER problems - I did not charge her for the session incidentally. I have never denied the seriousness of my cancer but I have never allowed it to change my perspective on life or prevent me from doing what I want to do. My attitude has always been I have cancer ‘so what‘? In all honesty I rarely think about it unless someone brings it up. I do not toss and turn in bed at night wondering what is going to happen and have never shed a tear about it.

Of course the whole family is aware of the prognosis and we have always been very open about it. My son wants me to have a Viking burial as he thinks this would be ‘cool’, my daughter wants me to die on a weekday so that it does not ruin her weekend and hubby is not that fussed as long as I cook dinner before I go. Tumour humour is rife in our household, most of which is unrepeatable in print.

I have had this cancer so long I believe I can call myself a bit of an expert. So, my expert advice is don’t waste time on thinking about what those naughty little cells are doing, get on with living.